


Kintsukuroi

by xuhei



Category: B.A.P
Genre: F/M, Mafia AU, Smut, and some of their names idk, i only knew yongguk, idk what to tag, its pretty general, like i dont really follow bap so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 18:16:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11423463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xuhei/pseuds/xuhei
Summary: Kintsukuroi (きんつくろい) - the understanding that a piece will be more beautiful once broken“It’s because I’m honest with you.” There’s a slight smile on your face as you look up to Yongguk and shrug your shoulders. “Like you said, honesty is good. Befriending you was a good decision and I don’t regret it, nor do I think i will ever regret it in my lifetime. I like hanging out here, it’s nice.”





	Kintsukuroi

**Author's Note:**

> I got lost on Pinterest with yongguk and this was born. I always rlly liked the idea of him being kinda not badass but badass at the same time. in conclusion, thank you for everything yongguk I think ur rlly cute

Yongguk entertains complete abhor for places like these. He’s a self-proclaimed germaphobe and all of these people being so close to him are making him slightly nauseous; he can’t be sure if half of them even have a brain to show for what they’re doing. He hates this all.

He’d only showed up here so that his friends would be off his case about him going to a club for once and getting out of the house. He only ever did two things these days and they were talking to animals and watching TV. Limited friends, limited money and limited social skills left him with major problems—no social life seemed to be just one of the many.

Bang Yongguk enjoyed his life and saw no reason to change it whatsoever. Of course there was always the issue in his mind that he lacked any kind of relationship (his last one in college had been a mixture of awful and painful), but he could find someone to date at any point. For now, he was just fine with how his life panned out, but his friends disagreed.

“Just coke please,” he says to the boy behind the bar, probably only a day over eighteen and barely able to even care for himself. A quick look around the room left Yongguk with a mixed impression on this kind of underground scene. “No ice please.”

The boy nods once and he returns to the back of the bar to try and find a glass, giving Yongguk another opportunity to assess the room. He’s used to looking for people that had bad auras, so to speak, since he worked in the line that meant he always saw a variety of good and bad people.

Just like at work, there was a strange mix of everyone. Yongguk only needs to take one look at the girl that was stood in the corner of the room to be completely enthralled though.

It’s just like something out of a story book—cliche and fueled by his inexperience in the world.

“Would you like anything else?” the boy asks Yongguk.

It pulls him away from his view and makes him almost stutter out a reply to his aid this evening. Luckily, Yongguk’s strong point has always been his confidence that lends him a helping hand even in the worst of situations. He seems far scarier than he actually is.

But he just takes his glass from the boy and shakes his head, refraining from thanking him for the moment. If he asked who that girl is then he may seem desperate and that was not a label he needed. Not here; he’d be slaughtered for being completely out of place.

“How much do I owe you?”

“Nothing, it’s paid for,” the boy tells Yongguk. The latter feels bad for referring to the bartender as the boy but the lack of name tag makes it basically impossible for him to call him anything else.

So Yongguk just cocks his head to the side and raises a brow, one arm crossed over his chest as he brings his lips to the glass and lets the cold infiltrate his skin. “Paid for… By who?”

“The owner,” he replies, a dull look in his eyes. The boy gestures over to that corner and Yongguk’s heart flips in his chest. This was his excuse to talk to the girl. He could thank her for paying for his drink and it would give him a chance to get to know her.

This is a great plan, he tells himself, this night is going to end well for him.

“Right, thank you.” Yongguk leaves the boy with a grateful smile and a bow to show his thanks for the help. Of course the boy pays no attention and turns to serve another customer, but Yongguk fails to become as agitated as he could because his eye is on something.

He’s going to talk to the owner—dubiously named by that boy—and he’s going to make sure he gets something out of this conversation. That will be the last thing he does.

As he approaches, he notices the black top that he’d usually curse at, the short pink skirt made of silk that’s prone to boys who are desperate and needy. The clothes of someone who knows exactly what they’re doing, Yongguk explains to himself, he’s just fallen into a trap but it’s so sweet he doesn’t want out.

Beauty is subjective and he’s got a lot of words to say about beauty right now.

“Excuse me?”

He’s almost knocked straight off his feet when you both meet eyes. Enthralled was a great way to explain how he felt right now, he simply could not look away. It was just something about the way that you looked at him, how he was being drawn to you even without words.

“Yes?” you answer him with delight. A soft smile rests on your lips and Yongguk can hope it’s for him, not because he’s a victim. Your voice hits him with mistrust, too; he fears that too long talking to you will leave him needing help.

“You’re the owner here, I just wanted to say…” his confidence begins to fail when he notices the way your eyes creep across his chest and down to his shoes which are surely scuffed from how often he ran for buses these days. “…thank you for buying this for me. You really didn’t have to.”

Your mind appears to be blank for a moment. Though you’re looking him in the eyes, Yongguk can’t read your expression—you’ve been trained to beat people like him. As some life returns to your body, you smile once again and shrug your shoulders. “No need to thank me. I do it for all newbies here. Leads to repeat customers.”

“How did you know I was new?” Yongguk questions. He feels he should have just left it but seeing how honest you’re being, he feels more open.

All his years of work have lead him to believe that honesty is the key to friendship. Now you’re being honest with him, he may just be able to get to know you better and understand why you look like you’re a recruit out here to draw people in.

Money, he guesses.

“Believe me,” you pause to look across him again with your lips beginning to pull into a smirk, “I would know if someone like you had been here before.”

Yongguk really hopes that you’re still being honest. If you are then he really does have a chance.

“Most people don’t thank me, they just get on with it and wait to see whatever act is here tonight. Have you heard of Ryo Minkyun? He’s performing later and he’s offered to give out free tickets to some people for his shows next month.”

Yongguk shakes his head at your words. “I haven’t heard of him. I didn’t know he was performing here.”

Suddenly he feels inadequate next to you. There are so many things that he can say right now but he has to hold them back because he thinks that you’ll see him in a different light if he speaks. He’s not like the people here, he’s far too different and he can see that now.

But yet, you still look at him like he’s worthy of something. There’s a light in your eyes and it means he can rest assured that you’re not going to kick him out. He didn’t even know you had live groups here, let alone people who gave out free stuff. He came here because he lived nearby.

“Can I read your palm?”

Yongguk stumbles over his own thoughts. “Sorry?”

“Your palm. May I read it?” you repeat.

It’s a strange request but Yongguk isn’t one to turn you down so easily. He stands there awkwardly for a moment but offers you his hand with ease, lifting it so it’s level with your own hands that wait patiently for him to fulfill you request. Of course he would; it was almost as if no wasn’t an option with you.

He relishes in the way you bring your fingertip over his palm, dragging across the lines which he paid little attention to. You stop by his thumb and hum to yourself, but then move to the top of his palm by his fingers. It’s almost mechanical; your actions are a process that drag Yongguk deeper into your spell.

“Your heart line is long and is in a concave shape. You have a need for attention but you’re also rather sensitive. But you do have control over your emotions and you’re outgoing, too. I would say from your life line that you also have a strong ancestral background and… a strong personality and life force. You like adventures, but you always return home.”

Yongguk feigns a reply to your words, thinking through what you’ve told him for a moment. You’re not entirely wrong and he fears for what else you could possibly say about him. You don’t know his name yet you still know him.

You finish for him nonetheless, releasing his hand so you can turn your attention elsewhere. “I bet you’re a very interesting character.”

“What’s your name?”

“Pardon?”

There’s a flash of fear in Yongguk’s eyes when he realises that he’s struck a problem with you. Maybe you didn’t expect him to be so forward with you despite the confidence he already showed. “Sorry I, uh… I’m Yongguk. I don’t know your name.”

“(y/n). It’s nice to meet you, Yongguk.”

It’s a fitting name, he supposes. There’s a rush of blood to his cheeks when he meets your eyes again, and Yongguk feels infatuated by your presence before him.

“Are you from near here?” You ask.

“Not really,” Yongguk answers. He’s thankful that you’ve tried to initiate more conversation but he fears it won’t last long. He really doesn’t know what to say around you, even if you have just met. “Well, I guess I don’t live too far. My friends told me to come here.”

You hum at his words, but don’t move nonetheless. Yongguk is left to watch your movements as you pick up your own glass and bring in to your lips, eyes set on the table in front of you. “You really aren’t like the normal person that hangs around here.”

“I hope that me being different is a good thing.”

“It is,” you answer him, “I’d like to get to know you a bit better. Everyone needs an escape from the real world, don’t they?”

Yongguk wishes he wasn’t so awkward and that he could reply immediately with something that would make you like him even more. He just stands there, lips partially gaped as he nods along to what you’re saying. An escape from the real world—he could understand that; he  _wanted_  that too.

So he swallows his nervous disposition and lets a smirk rest on his lips that he’d learnt from the thousands of movies he’d always made time for. “I have a free apartment tonight, if you did want to get to know me.”

The atmosphere seems to grow thin as you look up to him with darkened eyes, lips pursed and body tense from what you’ve heard. He’d not meant to say that and make it seem so… disinterested in you.  _Fuck_. Now he’d messed this all up and he’d have to talk his way back into your good books.

“Yongguk, I didn’t mean that I wanted to only know you in  _that_ way.”

“Me neither,” he says quickly, shaking his head. Hopefully you can see that he’s sorry and that it was a mistake to be so upfront with you. “I meant, we can hang out somewhere else. That’s all. I didn’t just want to…”

You raise a brow at him. “Didn’t want to just have sex with me?”

“No, of course not!” He sputters softly, words rather abrupt despite your calm tone.

He thinks that you’ve probably heard this all before. He’ll be the first to admit that you are incredibly attractive—or as some would say, you’re simply  _hot_ —compared to others around here. You have a vibe that seems to pull people towards you and not let them go, hence why everyone in the room stared at you whenever you moved.

You were truly  _beautiful;_  a work of art in a shallow, decrepit place like this.

“It’s okay, I’m used to it by now,” you mutter, the sensual tone in your voice lost now. “Everyone always talks to me for the same reasons, because they want sex. That’s the deal around here.”

Yongguk frowns. “I don’t want you for sex. I think you’re interesting.”

“If you say,” you answer.

He fears that he won’t get any more words from you, biting down on his lip as he tries to think of something to say to you. He might not get anything though, he may just be left with a broken attempt at wooing a girl he  _actually_  liked for once.

“You can take my number,” he suggests. You look up to him with wide eyes that don’t seem to change as he stutters his continuation to a poor attempt at saving his hopes with you. “I’ll leave it up to you. You take my number and call me when you want to see me. I’d still like to get to know you more.”

You hum at his words, remaining still for a moment. Yongguk has his fingers crossed on his free hand that this will work—he’s never really had an external locus of control but it seemed he needed one around you. Another part of the deal, perhaps. Whatever would happen with you came down to luck and that’s all.

“Alright.”

Yongguk’s lips begin to curl upwards. “Alright? You’ll take my number?”

“Only because I’m interested in you too,” you inform him.

You seem so gentle compared to when you were mad that he might have just wanted you for your body, but now he’d seen another side to you again. There was so much about you to explore and that intrigued him.

He’s quickly dishing out his number to you, scribbling the digits down and re-checking them twice to make sure they’re readable and  _correct_  so there are no reasons why you can’t actually call him. Or text him, which was good, too. Any communication between the two of you was a good thing in his eyes.

“I’ll be going now,” you say, reaching for the paper and taking it from Yongguk’s hands without a second warning. “I’ll see you around, Yongguk. I promise you that.”

Though he’s not able to return your promise with one of his own, one that tells of his desire to  _also_  see you again and talk with you for longer and learn so many new things about you, he does get to mumble his goodbye and wave shyly at you.

It’s okay, he guesses, since you’re smiling at his shy antics as you walk away and exit through a door that says staff only. As he watches you disappear, the bodies of other men follow you through the door and vanish as you had done. It’s the first sign Yongguk gets that you won’t be as easy to love as others had been.

Yet he makes it a goal for himself; he won’t give up on you and your smile before he’s even  _tried_.

♚♚♚♚

Yongguk finds a heart-warming feeling running through his body as he retraces his exact steps towards the club from before. You’d only seen him three nights ago and he was sure that he was going to make your words a reality. I’ll see you around, Yongguk, was something that kept troubling him since he went home alone that night.

Sure, he wasn’t the most experienced of people in the world. He’d faced rejection before and he’d certainly struggled with trying to get people to notice him but there was something about you that really told him he had a chance.

He’d loved how you had been open with him and it was the last thing he expected from you since he’d been hearing around about (y/n), owner of the underground club and your fearless reputation that came with a stone cold heart. You didn’t match that description; Yongguk wanted to know more.

You’d texted him the day after he watched you leave and enticed him ever since, open questions making Yongguk crave seeing you even more. He’d offered on more than one occasion to meet up with you and you’d declined all of them; he didn’t mind, of course you’d be  _busy_.

Plus, if the news articles were right you’d probably be worried that he was some kind of spy for someone else.

Yongguk would be the first person to admit he’d gone home and researched you, not only because he could tell there was something about you that carried more fire and power than everyone else. You’d be known all around, and like expected the first thing that came up next to your name was how everyone knew you for being fearless, unapproachable, dangerous.

Maybe he was just biased but he couldn’t see dangerous on that list. To him, anyway. You’d not made him worry about anything at all and he’d just sat there, staring at the screen in disbelief.

He wasn’t fearful of you, he was just attracted to you.

That was exactly why he was following the same path as before in the hopes he’d find you again, sitting at the same place as before watching over your  _people_. That way he could prove he was loyal and you’d be able to accept him more easily.

And that heart-warming feeling really was taking over him.

It just spread all over his body and he couldn’t wait to be able to speak with you, tell you things and learn more about you. There was more to you than all these articles that painted you out as the bad guy in all of this; he knew that without having to second guess himself.

 _I guess I really can’t wait to see you again_. That was all he’d said to you on his last text when he was thinking about seeing you. It was about ten minutes before he’d decided to come here tonight, seeing as he’d left you on read and didn’t plan on answering him any time soon.

He did, really. You’d been clouding his thoughts a lot and though he didn’t want to complain, it was starting to cause him a few problems.

For example, he’d called a cat by your name when he wasn’t thinking the other day. Though the lady who’d brought the cat in didn’t look very pleased, one of the other employees had joked with Yongguk saying he sounding like a lovesick boyfriend who missed his girlfriend  _that_  much.

But now he’s finding no use in looking over those texts he had sent to you because you weren’t personified by messages you had sent. It was starting to frustrate him, looking at a string of messages you’d send back and forth.

> >  _are you awake, Yongguk?_  
>  < I’m here. What’s wrong?  
>  >  _I’m lonely here. I feel like I haven’t had human contact in about a year and my heart longs for someone to talk to; it longs for you_  
>  >  _Are you busy?_  
>  < No i’m not busy, is there anything I can help you with?  
>  >  _Tell me a few things. What countries would you like to visit and why?_  
>  < I’d like to go to Paris because I want to visit the art museums, but also to Rome so I can see the history. You?  
>  >  _Paris; Rome? That’s interesting. I wouldn’t have picked you as wanting to go to either of those places._  
>  >  _What about your favourite colour?_  
>  _<  _I guess that I would say it’s red. Why?  
>  > _Then you wish to live life to the fullest and are very determined. Everything I learn about you makes me even more interested in you, Yongguk. Are you sure you’re not my perfect man?_  
>  < I can be, if you want me to be.

There was always a lurking possibility that Yongguk was being drawn to you by the words you sent him. Common compliments that left him hanging off your every word was like sweet nectar he could only find on your own hands. He had people who would tell him anything at work and in public to get on his good side, but when you said it, the words just meant so much more.

Although his value of these words seems to drop when he reaches your club, eyes peering around the door only to see you in the same spot with another man who was the type expected to be in this area. He was far more like  _you_.

> < Can I come to see you tonight?  
>  >  _I’m going to be busy all night with some business things. I won’t be available until tomorrow at the earliest._  
>  < I thought that you missed me?  
>  >  _Do you really want to use that card on me? Yongguk, whether I was dying or not, my business becomes far more important._  
>  >  _It’s March 20th today - do you know what that is?_  
>  < It’s… a tuesday, right?  
>  >  _That’s not what I meant, actually. Today is Ostara. You should carry some jasper with you for help with things that may trouble you.  
>  _ >  _I always carry jasper today._

Even if he seemed like an idiot, Yongguk had found a store near the local town and bought some jasper because he was enthralled by you. So it seemed was the man on your arm, someone that Yongguk wasn’t quite expecting.

He’s not even sure if he should be entering into the club and trying to hear what you’re saying. It may give him an insight into what’s actually going on but it could  _just_ be business. That would make things better. That would mean you didn’t lie to him. Yongguk trusted you enough to know that you’d not have blown him off for  _that_ guy.

Except, you’re both very close to one another. The guy has a hand around your own and the way you’re sitting means your back is slightly on his chest. The men from before are all around the two of you and it seems that you’re facing another person who’s in the same kind of business.

You know, the type with lots of tattoos and scaring just like the man on your arm. It must be the stereotype that you lived by and it must be why Yongguk didn’t fit those stereotypes at all.

> >  _and you’re single, right?_  
>  < I wouldn’t lie to you about that - of course I am  
>  >  _Maybe I will take you up on that offer about coming back to your apartment soon._  
>  < You’d like to?  
>  >  _I’d like to give you a chance to impress me, Bang Yongguk._  
>  < Do you think you’ll impress me, too?  
>  >  _Would you like me to be honest?  
>  __> Because if so, I’ll be the only person that you’ll be able to think about for days._

And you  _really_ don’t lie to him.

Yongguk manages to get a seat close enough to you to hear what you’re talking about.

Luckily you haven’t spotted him but he does know if you even look over in this direction, he’ll be caught. Though his hair is dark and his face is now covered, he just has an aura that surrounds him, screaming to people that he doesn’t belong. He has to listen with intent now.

“Who knows what could come of their actions,” you tell the people around you. “I won’t stand for people that can’t trust me. If you believe that I’m double crossing you then it’s best you leave now. I’m loyal. I don’t fuck with people who aren’t worth my time and unless you prove to me that you  _are_  worth my time there will be no connections. I won’t say it again, but if you wish for me to partake in any deal with you, my word is final. It will not change. If you can’t trust me then I can’t trust you.”

The man next to you laughs heartily and Yongguk can tell you wish he wouldn’t. But he talks anyway, and you’re left to be subjected to his words. “And do you know what she does with people that she can’t trust?”

A chorus of unknown answers to his question sounds. The people around you aren’t sure what to say. Yongguk is even unsure of what to say.

He can only decide to leave before he finds out what you do with those people. Now he knows that you’re loyal it gives him a chance to reflect on how he’ll treat you. One thing he does know is that no matter what, he’ll stand close to you.

> >  _Sometimes you might find me a little scary._  
>  < I don’t think you’re scary. I think you’ve got an opinion you’re not afraid to share and I like it.  
>  >  _You do?_  
>  < Of course I do. If you weren’t honest the world would be a bad place, wouldn’t it?  
>  > It would be a less brutal place, if I am one hundred per cent truthful with you.

♚♚♚♚

“Hey, Yongguk!”

The very boy is startled by the call of his name from across the room. He has to make sure that he doesn’t have the same effect on the small puppy he’s holding in his arms so that he can check his paws are healing properly.

He continues to cradle the dark haired Labrador in his arms as your figure approaches him, smile prominent and beautiful as he could ever remember. He turns to his puppy and takes a deep breath, biting down on his lip for a brief second. “Don’t screw this up for me, Jiho. We’re gonna make her like me, okay?”

The puppy doesn’t answer—of course he wouldn’t, he’s not human—but instead pushes his head closer to Yongguk’s chest to get all of Yongguk’s attention back. This is what his life had come to. Yongguk spoke to animals more than he did actual humans and he wasn’t ready to change that.

“Hey,” he answers you finally, seeing you approach him now. You pause for a moment a few feet away from him, looking between him and Jiho as you tuck some hair behind your ear and crouch down to his level. “This is Jiho, named after Zico by the owner, who’s a big fan.”

Yongguk notices the effortless laugh at his words that falls from your lips, drawing him closer to you once more. He feels more at ease around you now you’ve been seeing him so often. Everyday, if he counted right; you always showed up here just before his lunch break and you’d spend time together.

“He’s so cute, how come he ended up here?” you ask.

“Owners left him in a box outside. He wasn’t in poor health or anything, he may just have been an addition to their family they didn’t want. We’re not sure. But he’s making a good recovery and he should hopefully get a new owner soon.”

You nod once at his words but don’t make an effort to come closer to the pair. Yongguk has noticed that you like to keep a distance from animals but he doesn’t comment on it because of how little he knows of your past.

Come to think of it, he barely knows anything about you than your name. All the times you spend together has been him answering your questions about him and he’d so submissively gone along with it, he’d failed to notice that you’d neglected to tell him about you, too. He wanted to know everything about you, but he wasn’t sure how to approach the topic.

“I still can’t believe that you work here,” you mumble. There’s a twinkle in your eyes that Yongguk notices for the first time. It makes his heart race a little quicker when you meet his eyes. “You look like you could be one of my rivals but instead you’re… working in an animal shelter and you look after the animals. You’re too cute.”

“Cute?”

You nod at his words and bite down on your own lip now in response. “Very cute. I like it. You’re different to who I’m usually friends with.”

“You’ve told me this a lot, actually,” Yongguk tells you silently.

“It’s because I’m honest with you.” There’s a slight smile on your face as you look up to Yongguk and shrug your shoulders. “Like you said, honesty is good. Befriending you was a good decision and I don’t regret it, nor do I think i will ever regret it in my lifetime. I like hanging out here, it’s nice.”

Over all the times you’ve been here, you’ve always said something along the same lines. It makes Yongguk’s heart warm a little. “Why don’t you quit the club and come here instead. I’ll find you a job if you’d like?”

“It’s not as easy as that. If it was as easy as just dropping my job, I’d have done it months ago. Years, even.”

“How come?” Yongguk asks.

You only shrug your shoulders once again and it leaves Yongguk with a sure feeling that he’ll not get an answer to this question, too. He takes note of how you love to change the subject every single topic the two of you ever speak about. Especially when it came to something like this; your personal life.

“When’s your break?” you digress this time. It’s followed by your teeth sinking into your lips in the most illustrious of ways, something that has Yongguk swallowing hard at.

“Well, I’m the only one here today so… Whenever I want to close up for a while, I guess.”

Alongside the animals, the freedom he had in his work made things so much easier to carry on here.

“Can you take it now?” you question. “I really need your help with something.”

Of course this lights up Yongguk’s eyes. He’s a nice person who enjoys doing things for people, so you asking him for help only makes him feel a little bit happier inside. Though he  _does_  have  _no_  idea what you’re asking him for, he’ll enjoy it. Whatever it is, it will involve you and that’s what matters.

So he nods, matching your previous smile with a hint of blush on his cheeks. “I’ll meet you in the break room in a few minutes. Let me just lock the front door.”

He watches as you disappear out the back to the room you’ve accompanied him to before. The doors he wishes to lock have their keys turned within seconds and he’s heading back to see you. He tells himself that he needs to stop looking over to you like you hold the answers to everything.

Yet every time his eyes meet your own he feels like he knows even more about you.

“Are there cameras in here?” you ask him.

“Cameras?” he repeats in a confused tone. “Not that I’m aware of. Why, is something the matter?”

You shake your head and invite him to sit down on the chair before you. He takes it as you wish, but has no time to ask why you’re not sitting either. You stand there, staring down at him with wide eyes that signify more than he expected.

Yongguk’s heart beats a little quicker as you fall down to your knees before him. He should know what’s to come but his mind becomes frozen by the sight that meets his eyes. You’d come here today to make him happy for a different reason.

“I keep finding myself thinking about you all the time, in so many ways,” you say, catching Yongguk’s eyes for merely a second. He doesn’t try to stop you from taking his zip into your hands, vowing to simply watch your hands and their movements as he’s frozen with temptation.

He still doesn’t say a word as you move down to your knees, innocence still playing on your eyes as you move. The silence, as Yongguk can tell, is simply down to his own anticipation; should he even act this way? He feels like he should say no to you but he  _wants_ to feel you. He wants to hear more of what you were thinking.

His knees bouncing, and there’s a smirk on your lips that lets him know you’re aware he’s desperate at this point. Oh, he could think about this moment happening whenever he wanted to. He could imagine  _this_ , but it would never be this good.

Sending him an appraising glance, you begin to tug at his jeans so they can fall down his legs more. No time is wasted, either. Your hand is slipped into his waistband and you’ve got your fingers brushing his semi-hard length to make it stand up even more.

You take him fully in your hand, pulling down his boxers with your other as Yongguk watches. His black material stands out from all the other colours; the pink of his cheeks and red of his head that’s ready for you. Somehow he knew that you’d be wanting to tease him as much as possible, that was something he knew without debate.

“You’re so big,” you disclose, lips deepened in colour from the sight. You look up to him again, licking your lips one last time before gulping away any other words you had for him.

His legs are shaking and it completely matches his Adam’s apple that bobs as he swallows harshly, eyes following your hands as you stroke him once. Immediately you choose to bring your hand away, replacing your hand with your mouth that is  _so_ wet for him. It seems that you were waiting for him, too.

“You know you can tell me to stop at any time. My mind has been running over this a lot recently. I’ve wanted to know what it felt like to do this. With  _you_.”

He’s given no time for a response because you touch him once more, cock covered with your saliva now. It makes it easier for you to stroke him all the way from his tip and then back down to his base, the action continuing for a moment as your free hand moves to his bouncing thigh. It doesn’t stay there, though. It creeps towards his shaft until you’re using both of your hands to please him; one moves up as the other moves down.

All that this can bring from Yongguk was a moan, one that’s long and drawn own as he tries to catch his breath and steady himself.

He would like to cry out for you, tell you how much he loved what you’re doing because you’re exalting. He could describe you in a thousand different ways for paying this much attention to him and showing him how you really did care for him. Whimpering wasn’t enough for you, but he’d give it until he felt confident enough to show you just how much of an effect you had on him.

He didn’t want to seem desperate around you.

Yongguk’s hands have twisted into whatever material he can find - the table cover and his own shirt will have to do for now. The veins he has on his neck and his arms become far more visible, definition leaving you only to stare at his perfection as you continue to stroke him with such confidence. He fails to notice as you change to only one hand, mostly because his eyes are now shut with no intentions of being opened again.

“Does this feel good?” you ask him. He almost misses it as you bring your lips to him again and let them drift over his skin in the softest of ways.

But he nods, regardless of how lost in his words he is. If he looks down to you, he fears he may show how much he’s fallen for you.

You twist your wrist to the right, the action coinciding with your lips which are slowly pressing kisses to his tip. Your tongue begins to move in swirls around his tip, tracing around a vein that you can make out before moving back to his head and continuing to create pressure there. His rigid length was covered in the glistening coat of your saliva and it only gave you more lubrication to stroke him at a faster rate, bringing him closer to what you want.

“Are you ready to cum, Yongguk?” you ask, causing Yongguk to open his eyes. He glances down to you and gulps hard once more, nodding his head in a stiff fashion. Thought he can’t give you a  _real_  answer, he manages to stutter an inaudible noise that he’s sure you can take as a yes. Whimpers follow, along with a breathy moan. “If you want to cum, then cum. I don’t mind.”

Yongguk is moments away from doing what you say, his head again thrown back and eyes squeezed shut once more. His fingers are digging into his thighs now, muscles tight from their newly featured claw marks. There’s sweat all over his forehead and he’s so close, he just wants to give into your words right now.

“You’re going to cum now, aren’t you?”

He nods desperately, teeth sinking into his lip as he feels your lips on him fully this time. You let your tongue gently massage his tip before you take more of him into your mouth, swirling your tongue around him again and making sure to spend extra time on the one throbbing vein that he’d reacted to before.

He submits to you, his pants from above you filling the room as you swallow what you can of his load that he’d given you. He realises soon that he’s just settled it, that you won’t be giving him up without a fight. Those eyes of yours bore up into him and show it. “You really did impress me, Bang Yongguk.”

♚♚♚♚

Yongguk is trekking that dreaded path again. With the groups of hundreds of men who look like they’ve got a bloodstream full of alcohol and can’t be saved from the world that’s taken over them. He hates that these are the people that you’re always around but that’s your choice. Yongguk respects that.

But something is off today and he realises that before he comes anywhere near to your  _home_. There’s people following him; he can hear the footsteps around him and it scares him. Yongguk doesn’t know what they could want from him, he’s just here to see you.

Although that’s the problem. He knows that deep down.

“Bang Yongguk?” someone calls for him. “I need a word with you. Stop please.”

Yongguk knows he has to stop and he does exactly that, coming to a halt on his next step and slowly turning his head to see who’s called him. He doesn’t get a look though—he’s met with a fist to his cheek before he can even see how many men are behind him.

“Don’t fucking look at me. Face forward and don’t cause any problems for me. I’m only here to deliver a message.”

The man’s voice is unrelenting and cold, something Yongguk should be expecting. He knows nothing good will come with this and the sting that’s left on his cheek should tell him the least. This is about one thing, yet he wishes not to accept what it is about.

Yongguk brings a hand to his cheek as he tries his best to seem unaffected. “What’s the message?”

“You and (y/n). This is your only warning and if you don’t follow by it expect your body to show up around the country in different parts. Stay the fuck away from her.”

He should have known it was coming. Apart from his sore jaw that’s never been touched like it just was, his heart is thumping and head is pounding. If he had any idea what to do now it probably wouldn’t be enough.

Surely you’ve not sent these people yourself? He’d been so comfortable with you and he was sure that you’d not want to harm him. Yongguk thought that you liked him. You’d told him you wanted to kiss him too—that was no illusion he’d faced. You’d wanted him and  _you_  had said that.

“I don’t know what your business is with her but people don’t like it. You’re doing everyone dirty, playing games with Oh Jaehyun and he’s not at all happy about it. You think you can just show up here and take over his position? You’ve got another thing coming.”

Yongguk knows he shouldn’t speak. He tells himself over and over but he’s angry. His words fall from his tongue before he can stop them. “Who the fuck is Oh Jaehyun?”

He’s hit with another punch, this time to the back of his shoulder and it sends him down the ground in the most painful of ways. His hand hits the gravel of the pavement and all Yongguk can do is hiss in pain.

“Do you hear this  _joker_?” A different voice says, much more unrelenting, “who the  _fuck_  is Oh Jaehyun. We should just kill him right here,  _fucking idiot._ ”

Yongguk’s trying to help himself up when another voice comes to his rescue. It’s not going to help him; these men are all against him and he knows that. “Boss wants him alive, he’s worth more that way.”

“Nothing’s stopping us making sure he can never walk  _again_.”

The array of voices puts Yongguk in one position. He can’t run, he can’t fight back. “I won’t talk to her anymore.”

“Why, you scared?” the original man speaks. His tone is so sour it makes Yongguk feel sick down to the stomach. “Don’t even want to try and fight for her? That makes you a coward, you know.”

He can feel something sharp across his neck and he has some idea as to what it is. One wrong move and he’s dead—but they do need him alive. Part of Yongguk wants to test them and see how far they’ll go but he knows it won’t end well.

For anyone.

“You seem to think I’m close enough to her that I can’t live without her.”

“I just think she’s sucked your dick once or twice and now you can’t stay away,” another says, “was it good? Watching her suck you off like a complete whore? That’s all she is.”

Yongguk bites down on his tongue so he doesn’t shout. Attention isn’t what he needs. He can get out of here alive and not cause anymore problems. “And when was the last time someone sucked your dick?”

“You can do it if you’re that desperate to know.”

These people are crazy. It’s because of the power, he’s sure. It can’t be anything less than the power that they hold because they’re not angry. They don’t hate him. They’re just doing a job.

So as he sits there on his hands and knees, holding himself up barely with a bruised cheek and poorly injured shoulder, his phone ringing is the last thing he needs.

Yongguk doesn’t think much of it, only until the man is pulling his phone from his back pocket and inspecting it for himself. His laugh is enough to assure Yongguk isn’t done here tonight.

“Speak of the devil…” Yongguk’s met with a man in front of him that’s surely the one who’s been speaking this whole time. He’s got a scar down his face and a knife in his hand, phone in the other. “Answer it. I wanna see how she talks to you and whether you’re not  _actually_  that close.”

Yongguk nods and has the phone promptly shoved into his hand that’s reached out. He winces when the man’s other hand is brought closer to him and the blade of the knife is pressed across his neck, blood threatening to spill.

“Don’t try anything clever.”

He supposes that the man means,  _don’t let her know we’re here._ That would mean you’re not part of it and this is all someone else’s doing and you can help him?

Yongguk curses at himself for this. He can’t come running to you when he has a problem and he’ll have to sort this out. The words running through his head on what he can  _actually_  say to your are scarce, but with the phone held to his ear he awaits your voice in all its glory.

“Hey, where are you?” You ask him.

There’s a pained tone to your voice and you seem sad for some reason. It leaves Yongguk swallowing harshly in order to hold back his feelings. “I’m on my way now, just had to stop and buy something. Is everything okay?”

“I just missed you,” you tell him. The dejection—he can tell it’s real and you’re hurting. Yongguk doesn’t know why but he wants to help you out. “I’ve just had a really shitty day and seeing you would make me feel a whole lot better.”

“You’ll see me soon, I promise,” he assures you.

There’s a chorus of muffled laughs around Yongguk and he loses his concentration for a moment. You’re not at the club yet, there’s no music and the atmosphere is so empty. He can’t think of another place you’d be, he didn’t even know where you lived.

“No, Yongguk. You don’t understand me, I  _need_  you,” you repeat, emphasising your words with a lull that has Yongguk’s thighs clenching.

He doesn’t answer in fear of what the others around him will do.  _Hell_ , he’s not even sure if your words are silenced or they’re all going to hear you tell him what you want from him without asking for it. He hopes they can’t hear. He also hopes that you’d end it there but neither will come true.

“I keep thinking about you,” you tell him gently. He can hear a sign in your voice and it makes his tense even more. “What does a girl have to do to get Bang Yongguk to fuck them so hard they can’t walk the next morning? I’d really love to know.”

A lack of response from Yongguk has the knife pressed closer to his skin. He can feel a cool sensation on his neck and he’s sure now that he’s bleeding but he  _doesn’t_  know what he can say.

“Do you want to fucking  _die_?” the leader of the people around him almost growls. It’s low enough that you won’t hear but loud enough for Yongguk to know it’s not a joke. “Tell her what she has to do for you to fuck her.”

Yongguk swallows loudly again to attempt to control his nerves. He can’t stutter, not that he ever does. He’s never been in a situation like this. “You really want to know?”

“I’ll do anything,” you tell him. It’s almost desperate and Yongguk knows everyone can hear you now. “I want you to touch me and show me how good you are. Please Yongguk. I’ll be a good girl for you.”

A suffocating feeling washes over him. There is absolutely no way out of this—he’s just got to play along.

So Yongguk ignores the pounding in his head and metal at his throat, breathing one last time before submitting. “Do you think you can handle me?”

He’s only met with a laugh for an answer. “Is that really a question, baby?”

“I’m just saying, I won’t let you go until you’re begging me for more,” Yongguk replies. He takes one glance at the man and swallows every ounce of pride he’s got left in him. “Would you like that? To be crying my name until you can’t even remember who Jaehyun is anymore?”

He’s struck with a hand to his other cheek, but he holds back from crying out and waits for your words. You don’t pick up on the fact he’s had the air taken out of him. “I’ll only ever say your name again.”

“What do you want me to do to you?” Yongguk questions.

“Taste me,” you tell him. He’s sure he can hear the slightest of whimpers from you and he can only wish he was alone right now. He can’t react to anything you’re saying even if it’s causing him so much trouble. “I want you to suck on my clit, eat me out so good that I won’t want any other to do it.”

Yongguk can feel a burn at the bottom of his stomach from your words. Dare he continue to speak, he might not see light tomorrow. “You know I’m good with my tongue baby, is that all?”

Another foot strikes his leg and sends Yongguk falling forward, hands grasping the gravel of the pavement which makes small indents in his skin. He’s hurt, everything hurts him and before he can even push on his hand so he can stand, he’s hit again. One after the other, a fist collides with another part of his body.

His chest is hurting; he must have bruised a rib at the least. There was eyes staring down at him and that unforgiving knife looking back down at him like he was what was wrong with the world. He can’t wince, he can’t even make a noise despite the blood that was leaving his body because they were all evil.

Yet you’re not saying a word. It’s as if you don’t even notice the pain he’s in despite his silence.

“I’ll show you what else will happen when you get here,” you tell him promptly. It’s almost as if they’ve all queued your reaction to everything and you’re working against him in the most provocative of ways. “Be quick, Bang Yongguk. Don’t keep me waiting, not when I’m this wet because of you.”

And you’re gone, just like that.

He’s suddenly so weak with everyone around him, staring at his almost lifeless body with satisfaction. His phone is dropped, discarded on the pavement as his hand covers his mouth to cough out the blood coursing through his organs. He never gets the blood on his hands—the  _dreaded_  knife is pushed against his wrist to hold his hand back.

“She drops you just like that. I guess you aren’t that close to her after all.”

The one with the knife drops his wicked smile at the end of his words, mind clouded with the phone call he’d just witnessed. It’s true, you did drop him so easily but how were you to know.

Yongguk’s inexperienced and you know that. He’s never done anything out of the ordinary and he sticks to every rule like that garden weed all the pets seem to pick up when outside. He hates trouble, he hates violence, yet here he is waiting for almost falling for you to kill him. You’d be the death of him and he’s accepting that.

It was only a question of whether or not you’d save him.

“If you’re not that important maybe we can kill you,” he says. The knife is moved from Yongguk’s wrist to his chest that’s barely covered with his thin shirt. The tip of the blade smooths over his skin, a line left across the shirt where it had almost cut. “What do you say, boys? We skin him and show everyone what happens when you fuck with Oh Jaehyun?”

 _Oh Jaehyun_. Oh  _fucking_  Jaehyun was the only problem for Yongguk and he hated how much of an impact this guy had on his life. This was it; Yongguk would make sure that he never had to see that guy again or hear his name again even if it meant locking himself away for good.

Even if it meant not seeing you again.

“But then nothing can be used against (y/n),” one of them says.

“I agree, we shouldn’t kill him,” another agrees promptly. A murmur of voices spreads as they discuss what should be done, everyone unsure of who was right. It’s the same person that comes to Yongguk’s rescue  _again_. “Think about it. If he’s dead she’ll just kill us all. If he’s alive then she doesn’t know it’s us. We can keep pulling her strings until she falls.”

Yongguk tries to see their face but there’s a foot that stops him from moving. His eyes hurt and the bright lights around him subject him to barely any sight. He feels like he’s going to throw up and there’s so much pain in his chest he fears  _death_. Just those  _fucking_  eyes watching him like hawks.

They’d spare him, he assumes the least. No one goes for him again and the last thing he sees before one final fist to his mouth is the guy with the knife. He gets close, so close that Yongguk can smell the dirt and repulsion already. He’d definitely have been sick if the guy wasn’t holding him by the shirt, making sure he couldn’t move.

“Stay the fuck away from (y/n), or I’ll make sure you never see the light of day again.”

♚♚♚♚

Yongguk’s stuck in his bedroom trying to find clothes he can take to his friend’s with him. He’d run out of the clothes he originally took and decided that he should get some more, no matter what the risk of being home was.

He’d been freeloading, effectively, and he felt bad for it. He’d not seen you in over a week now and he felt bad for that too. All of your texts he’s ignored, every call was declined in fears for his own safety and Yongguk couldn’t help but find it selfish of him to feel that way.

You’d just wanted to know he was okay.

Of course he believed there was some malpractice. The men that came from Oh Jaehyun must have some guidance from you and he didn’t want to believe you’d double cross him but it was an option at this rate. You could be up to anything. You’re one of them after all.

“Check the bedroom.”

That was Yongguk’s signal that he’d made a bad move.

It was your voice and it startled him because he’d never expected to hear it so soon. It was like you had followed him here and that was worrying because… you’d be able to find him wherever he went. If he followed that premise, it was.

“If you find anything, show me,” you continue. Yongguk assumes that you’re speaking with your men that follow you around everywhere. Like the ones at the club that first night who protected you with their lives. “Any evidence he’s been hurt, proceed with caution.”

Yongguk’s instincts kick in when he realises he actually has to move. He’s still unsure what to do, he doesn’t want to blindly trust you. You’d be on Jaehyun’s side no matter what, he was your boyfriend. Yongguk was just a stranger to you.

His closet at the back of the room is a place he knows he can hide in for the moment. It would give him a chance to think and breathe just until he could make up his mind.

His promise meant something to you, but only if you didn’t want to kill him.

“If he’s dead, it’s on you,” you say loudly. It startled Yongguk a little as he tries to fit his body into the small floor of the closet amongst the clothes he’d left all over the floor. “I told you to watch over him and make sure Jaehyun didn’t do anything. If something has happened then you’ll be paying.”

Though his hands are stuck in the most awkward of positions and his foot is slightly numb, Yongguk stays as still as he can to avoid being noticed. He’d rather give himself up than be caught; he’d seem even more cowardly.

He can hear footsteps around his apartment that shake him to the bone. How many knifes, that’s the only question running through his mind. Flashbacks to his last encounter with these people—presumably also Jaehyun’s people—flood his eyes and he has to take some deep breaths to bring him back to reality.

This is different. You won’t kill him.

You’ll just be… majorly disappointed and since you’re rightfully the most dangerous woman to exist, he’s not sure how you’ll react.

“Who said I was in charge of him?” Another says. The voice is oddly familiar… like the one who’d been holding a knife to his throat before.

You were working together.

And you’re getting closer; there’s footsteps that appear nearer and nearer to your ( **his?** ) location which has him frozen in his position.

One wrong move and he’s dead.

“Look, he has his own mind. He’s gone and none of us know where. If you wanted him so badly you should have been rougher with him. I should have threatened him even more.”

It’s all running through his mind so quickly that it hurts. He didn’t expect this, any of this at all. It doesn’t make sense to him because you’re not like this.

All those times together wouldn’t lead to you wanting him dead. It just didn’t add up.

There’s a small part of Yongguk that wants to leave now and tell you how sorry he is. That this was a mistake and he’d misunderstood everything. There was people who made him think you wanted him dead.

You’d listen to him, surely. You’d tell him it was okay and that you’d never do that to him because you cared for him. Oh, he wishes.

He only just gets to move his leg when you’re talking again and having his blood run completely cold. “Have you heard of the Japanese process of kintsukuroi?”

There’s a silence and Yongguk assumes your companion declines knowledge.

“It’s when you fix pottery with a mixture of lacquer with powdered gold, silver or platinum,” you tell him. No footsteps are heard anymore but Yongguk can tell you’re basically outside of his bedroom. “It can lead to an understanding that things become more beautiful once broken. Are you saying I can apply that to Yongguk?”

The other man hums softly. “I suppose. Don’t you think he’s rather weak?”

“I never noticed if he was weak. I didn’t judge him on the qualities that I judge all of you.”

Silence falls again—Yongguk’s left in darkness to contemplate your words as those dreaded footsteps around his room linger.

Thank god he’d not left that bag of clothes on his bed.

“We found these in the bathroom, miss,” a new voice sounds. Much younger than the others, probably in his early twenties with a shot of getting away from Oh Jaehyun and his wonderful girlfriend. “Blood was on the floor, too. It’s old, maybe a week or two.”

Your response lacks words but carries emotion. All Yongguk can hear is almost a growl at his words, anger filling your bones at the information you’ve learnt.

“Did you know anything about this?”

Silence again.

“Listen to me, Jisoo, I trusted you to make sure he wasn’t hurt and now we’ve got this. Blood all over his bathroom floor and clothes? If you think he just left, then why was this here?”

Jisoo, as Yongguk has finally found out his name, hesitates to respond. “How do we  
know that has anything to do with us?”

“Why would it have anything to do with us?” you question. “Your job was to make sure he was safe. Yongguk is… he’s a good person—he works with animals and he doesn’t want to cause trouble and… I never said it was anything to do with us. I said make sure nothing happens to him. Any rival of mine could hurt him. Why would we hurt him?”

Good question; Yongguk wants an answer too.

But no one gives an answer and the atmosphere in the room runs icy. He’s not sure what to make of everything that’s happening, less try to understand it. Jisoo is one of your men but he’d been working for Jaehyun before. His boss.

So all of your men were shared and when he was told to stay away from you, that was on your command too.

Yongguk believes that you’re a sadist. No one in their right mind would do this.

“Did anyone see him on the night I called him?” you ask them.

“He’d left his home and we assumed he was going to see you,” someone answers. They seem much more certain of their words than anyone else did. “We have CCTV of him walking down the street but after that we’ve lost him. He’s become almost untraceable and we’re all unsure as to why.”

You hum at the person’s words, opting not to answer. Yongguk assumes it’s because all of the people with you are under your control and appearing weak has detrimental effects here. He wonders if this will be reported back to Jaehyun, too. If all of this would show it wasn’t a one way street.

“Fine. We leave him for now. If he wants a chase, he can have one. Jaehyun will find him eventually and I will have my say then. If he wishes to play this game, he can.”

Now, that alone may confirm all suspicions that Yongguk has. He finds his heart racing and head pounding from the thoughts of you being the person he didn’t want you to be. You weren’t Oh Jaehyun but now he knew why you were his girlfriend.

The two of you weren’t so different after all. You fed of each other’s evil and used those around you for whatever you liked. Yongguk had just been used by you and he’d have to live with that. Move on, he tries to tell himself over and over as the footsteps leave his room. Move on.

It was far easier said than done. Escaping you was harder than rolling a boulder up a hill in hell.

♚♚♚♚

“So he asked who the fuck I was?”

Yongguk’s head is pounding. He can’t see the floor properly and his vision is blurry around him so he assumes someone has done a number on his head. He knows who’s in front of him and that scares him to hell and back.  

“Who the fuck is Oh Jaehyun,” the same voice repeats, cruel tone sending ice through Yongguk’s veins. “Of course he doesn’t know who I am. Hey, wake him up before I don’t even give him a chance to beg me not to kill him.”

There’s a fist promptly tangled in Yongguk’s hair, nails scraping across his scalp to pull his head up. His eyes immediately fall on the double picture of a man that’s got to be in his thirties, tattooed neck almost matching those Yongguk had too.  

He doesn’t speak, though. Yongguk is left to stare at the man with the harsh eyes for the time being as a plan is considered. They’d kill him, of that Yongguk was sure.  

“Nice to meet you, Bang Yongguk,” he says, “you’re different to what I expected. I thought you’d be more… Fuck, it doesn’t matter. Didn’t you get the message I sent to you before about staying the fuck away from my people?”

Yongguk doesn’t want to answer. He’s been careful these days, hidden away at his friend’s house with no intentions of going to work or even leaving the house so he could avoid everyone around him. How’d they find him? All he did was open the door to get the mail and… they’d got him then.  

Being with you was causing him a lot of problems, yet he still couldn’t stay away. 

“Don’t want to talk?” Jaehyun asks. Yongguk can only guess this is the infamous man, your boyfriend.  

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Yongguk answers bravely. He can feel the anger rush through Jaehyun’s blood with his very words but he’s pissed now, too. It meant he’d just talk back. He’d make things worse for himself. “I haven’t been near any of your people. When have you seen me in the past two weeks? Never. You don’t even know who the fuck I am.”

Jaehyun only scoffs. There’s a gesture with his right hand that Yongguk associates with a fist being thrown into his left cheek. It sets him back a little but the hand in his hair holds him up. “Yongguk, I know exactly who you are. Don’t test me. (y/n)’s been looking long and hard for you, I only wonder why.”

“You want to know the reason why?” Yongguk returns.  

“Enlighten me.” Jaehyun’s words are followed by a knife being pulled from his pocket, the silver blade held up in the light to show how sharp it really is. “Remember, Bang Yongguk, that I will not waste a moment in letting her find you very quickly. Wouldn’t she hate to find across this buildings with a love note written in your blood.”

Yongguk’s answer doesn’t leave his lips. He feigns his expression so that his fear can’t be seen by the people in the room that want to lynch him right here and now. He knows that if he cooperates he has more of a chance of getting out of here.  

But then he’d never see you again.

“Murdering an innocent man won’t get you anywhere.”

“Who the fuck said you were innocent?” Jaehyun spits. He leans forward in his chair and brings his knife ever closer to Yongguk’s face, the blade crossing his skin in the most delicate of ways. “The second you looked at her you were an enemy of mine. Now you’re prey, and you’re not getting out easily.”

Yongguk is stuck again. He doesn’t know what to say and he can feel the metal cutting his cheek in the simplest of ways. It stings, but it’s not the worst thing that will happen tonight. “An enemy who didn’t know who the fuck Oh Jaehyun was?”

Yongguk’s hair is immediately released, sending his body to the ground with a thud. He believes he’s being freed but before he can bring himself to even his knees, a foot meets his back and he’s sent back down to the ground. It’s the first of many, another kick to the chest and stomach hits before they stop.  

“Don’t say my name,” he’s told. He can feel his stomach churning and he wants to give up there and submit to them. He’ll be done with quicker, that way. “I don’t know if you worked this one out, but she’s not going to save you here; she’s not yours. All those days you’ve spent with her? Forget them. She’ll get you killed.”

“Will she?”  

Yongguk’s heart doesn’t mean to flip at the sound of your voice. He’s not heard it for so long and he think that maybe this is his chance to make it out alive. You’d not double cross him, that isn’t something you could do to him. He’d worked that out over the past week.  

“You came,” Jaehyun states. He sounds bitter, like he’s witnessed the death of someone dear to him. “I’m not surprised. I should have expected you to come, considering we had him here under our watch. Were you worried we’d hurt him?”

You don’t audibly reply and Yongguk wishes to bring himself to face you. He can’t move though, there’s a foot on his back holding him still for the moment to make sure that nothing would happen to Jaehyun. “Does it matter why I’m here? You’d have found something to use against me anyway.”

There’s a shattering noise in the room and Yongguk still does move, assuming it to be something else in the room that you’ve taken control of. He’d never understand why you were here so quickly or why you even cared so much for him. Unless, you felt similarly to him.

“What did you plan on doing with him, Jaehyun?” you ask. There’s a silence in the room  _again_  that is only broken when more smashing of things Yongguk can assume is glass commences. “You’re a real good person Jaehyun. Aren’t we all so lucky to have you.”

“It’s not like you care anyway,” Jaehyun says.

Yongguk is starting to realise that this is more than just  _men_. It’s more than him intruding a territory that belonged to some of the most dangerous people in Korea and it’s more than him falling in love. It’s because  _everyone_  falls in love with you and that’s the problem.

“Be careful what you say around me,” you tell him. “You seem to forget who I am.”

“So you don’t care about him?”

Yongguk glances up to Jaehyun at his words. There’s a silence that looms in the air between everyone and it’s deadly—anyone involved is for themselves and only themselves.  

“I’m merely here to say a few words before you finish what you’re doing,” you tell him.

It’s at that point that Yongguk feels the whole world sink around him.  

Now he believes that this can go a few ways. You’ll tell Jaehyun to leave Yongguk alone and the two of you will leave and be happy; that’s what he’d expected from the beginning. There was also the possibility that he’d end up dead in twenty minutes and the closer you came the more likely that became.  

You were just behind him, feet by his head and hand travelling over his shoulder softly that was still bruised completely. It left Yongguk to wince at your touch, but not completely give in to your being. He supposed that was what you wanted.  

“Yongguk, do you trust me?” You ask him softly. It sends a shiver down his spine but lest it be in anticipation for anything. “Yongguk, please. I’ve not seen you for so long, can’t you answer me now?”  

He swallows hard as he closes his eyes and lets his mouth open, heart talking despite his head telling him that he was doing such a wrong thing. “I trust you.”

“Bad move,” Jaehyun says. He doesn’t even sugar coat it; Yongguk realises Jaehyun’s been the most honest with him this whole time.  

But really, it’s not that he doesn’t trust you. Yongguk told you things and maybe that was a bad move as Jaehyun had told him, yet there’s no regrets in his mind. Yongguk was tainted by the promise of excitement that you gave him, that was all.  

“You know I would never want to harm you,” you continue from your previous words. The world before Yongguk is dark. “You treated me like I wasn’t some outcast in society that was to be feared and I liked it. You invited me into your life and it was amazing, I couldn’t have ever asked for more. Yet here we are, stuck in a position where you and I have been turned against each other. You thought I wanted to kill you, didn’t you?”

Yongguk nods.  

“Now if I truly felt so strongly about you, Bang Yongguk, why the hell would I want to kill you? See I don’t get it. I think you knew exactly who I was from the day you met me, yet here we are talking over who am I after you’ve known me for months now. Jaehyun sent people after you because he’s one jealous asshole, yet you blamed it on me. Why was that?”

He thinks he can stay silent and not say a word to confirm your suspicions. Words meant that you had something to use against him and Yongguk knew that wasn’t a good idea.  

However, after only a few moments he’s kicked in the back again, possibly by you or by another person in the room. Whoever it was, they weren’t as strong as the other person and it caused him less pain that he expected. He must have broken a leg by now. 

“Answer me, Yongguk. I’m sure you’ve heard stories of people who don’t respond to my questions.”

“One of the people I saw with you was the one who found me that night,” Yongguk blurted. His sense of what to do has gone and he can only hope his actions are for the best now. You can’t prepare for this—you have to fight this. “I don’t know what to do in situations like this. You said I was different and you know I am! What am I supposed to think when someone says they’ll kill me if I see you again?”

He’s turned to face you within a second, another hand on his shoulder to hold him down against the ground but make sure he’s looking up, your eyes piercing his own in the light and sending him to hell and back. “So yo thought that I was some kind of psycho girlfriend who wanted you to leave you alone and told people to kill you if I saw you again?”

“That sounds a lot like you, babe.”

“Don’t call me babe,” you hiss in Jaehyun’s direction, giving him the exact same stare that Yongguk had been subject to a moment ago.

Except, Yongguk doesn’t react. He looks to you with an emotionless face before turning away. “I remember the boy you had drowned in his own bathtub because he was annoying you. Sure Yongguk isn’t the same?”

“I’m very sure,” you vow, “I’d have much rather it been you who was drowned in that bathtub. You’re far worse than anyone else in this room. All of this, it’s only your fault.”

Jaehyun raises an eyebrow at your words. “And what will I be at fault for?”

“The killing of an innocent man, Yongguk told you that earlier.” Your heels click on the ground and are moments from driving Yongguk and all the rest the men insane. “Let’s see, what will the police say I wonder? Man connected with multiple killings around town found dead in a gutter, alongside man from nearby unrelated to gang activity. That won’t go down too well. You’ll have a sentence of thousands of years for everything that you’ve done.”

“So you would kill that rat and blame it on me?”

“No, not quite.”

If Yongguk wasn’t so fallen, defeated by you, he’d be trying to fight back. You’re so smart and you’re loyal, too. He would believe until the end of days that you’re the perfect person for him and that’s all there is to it. He thinks that he does love you, deep down, and if there was a way to change that then he would.

But he can’t. He doesn’t even think he’d try to change his love for you in the end when he has a real think about it.

You’re now sitting on a chair on the opposite side of the room, hands over your knee as you stare at the two men. Yongguk notices from a quick glance around the room that you’ve got men on every door. “Did you ever care, Jaehyun?”

“What do you mean?”  

“I mean, was keeping me on a leash a power thing to you or did you really care that I had feelings for another man?”

Jaehyun looks to his left, shaking his head. “That’s irrelevant.”

“So let me offer something to you,” you say softly. “If you really did have any true feelings for me, you’ll let Yongguk go. We never need to speak again and I will drop everything I have to use against you.”

“I think that you’re just letting me know that you never cared about me, if I’m completely honest.”

Jaehyun knows you well, and Yongguk catches onto that within moments. The two of you were a match made in hell, created for chaos and intrusion in the world. Whether that was a good thing, Yongguk would never know.  

But you’re smarter than anyone in the room, and Yongguk knows that too. “If you do kill him, I’ll give you everything I have the power to give you – money, men, assets.”

“And why would you do that?” Jaehyun snaps.

“Because I would love to have an excuse to make your life a living hell,” you equivocate to him. “If I gave you everything, I would be able to make sure you never saw the light of day again. I’d have a bullet between your eyes before you could even tell me that you would kill our… associate.”  

A man by the door raises his gun towards Jaehyun—no one reacts. None of the people harassing Yongguk are there to stop the gun being pointed at Jaehyun at all. The man only laughs. “It sounds like you want me to kill Yongguk.”

“It sounds like I am telling you to make a choice between my possible happiness, or your possible happiness. Wouldn’t you take the gamble of actually making it out of here alive, being the most powerful man in this country?”

“Just like you’re taking a gamble on whether I’ll kill Yongguk or not, I see,” Jaehyun says. He looks over to Yongguk, still emotionless. “She doesn’t love you, kid. Anyone who would go through this to kill you doesn’t actually love you. I love power, but she loves it even more.”

Yongguk doesn’t know what to say to Jaehyun. In fact, he doesn’t know what to say to anyone. He only looks up to you, eyes glassy and lips gaped at the words Jaehyun has said. However you look as plainly as Jaehyun does. “Do you really think that I believe that you trust me, Yongguk? If you can’t trust me then I can’t trust you.”

“Just like you can’t trust me anymore,” Jaehyun adds.  

You nod gravely. “Anyone I can’t trust is better off dead.”

Jaehyun can’t even tell you that he knows you’ve been planning this for a while. Every word you’ve said, every syllable that you’ve created was planned from the beginning of this all. You’d get rid of Jaehyun and Yongguk, blame it all on Jaehyun and get away from this all scot-free.

It was genius.

Even the sound of a gun in Jaehyun’s hands can’t get Yongguk to look away from you. He knows that he can’t help himself; there is no way out of hell and you’re the one that’s dragged him here. If you wanted Yongguk to stay, you’d have just killed Jaehyun on your own. But his blood on your hands was too much.

So that soothing voice that floods his ears calms him no less than the gun pointing directly at him.

“I really did love you, Yongguk.”


End file.
